


Calm Before the Storm

by AceQueenKing



Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-17
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-21 05:12:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6039577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AceQueenKing/pseuds/AceQueenKing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashley and Kaidan miss home. After they have drinks with Shepard and Garrus, Ashley and Kaidan discover they have more in common than they thought.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Calm Before the Storm

The tradition started after Noveria.

Shepard declared that anyone dealing with crazy, corrupt administrators and rachni was entitled to a small break. She couldn’t give the entire crew shore leave, but she did manage to make sure the ground crew on those missions had time to unwind.

Each of the them had their own traditions and pastimes: Tali spent her time talking and testing tech. Garrus worked on the Mako or shot the breeze with Shepard. Wrex spent his time glaring and making the Normandy crew as uncomfortable as possible and Liara was nearly always in her books. Kaidan was usually with Shepard, or in the sickbay if it was a bad day.

And Ashley, well, Ashley had figured out it was the best time to call home.

“Hey sis.” Sarah’s voice crackled over the extranet, and Ashley grinned as her picture soon followed. Sarah was all arms and legs now, having finally hit the infamous Williams growth spurt.

Sarah was getting big. Too damn big. Her braces were off now, too.

“Looking good, Sar.” She laughed. “You blinding all the guys with those pearly whites now?”

“Nah.” Sarah ducked her head. “The boys don’t – don’t really see me like that.”

“Sure they do.” Ashley said. “It’s just they know that they know that if they mess with you, they’ll have to answer to Lynne or I.”

“Very funny, Ash.” Her sister’s normally brilliant smile faltered. “I wish you were here.”

“Me too, kiddo. Let me tell you, I can’t wait to go home and sleep in an actual bed again.”

She loved the military life, but the day she could sleep in a real bed was a day that couldn’t come soon enough. She’d never quite adjusted to sleeping standing up. She’d always felt bad about her hatred of the standard sleep pod, until the day she caught Shepard grumbling about them, too.

If Shepard - an N7 super soldier and spectre - hated it, then at least she was in good company.

“It’s more than that.” Sarah sighed. “It’s so empty here. You’re gone, Lynne and Abby are at university, and dad…”

“I know, kiddo. I know.” Ashley winced. Military life required sacrifices. She’d known that going in. But knowing it was one thing, and seeing her littlest sister desperately lonely was another.

Sarah wrinkled her nose. “Mom doesn’t really know how to cook for less than three thousand, either. We’ve had tacos the last five days straight.”

“Well, if you’d just get that driver’s license already, you could get what you want, when you want.” When she’d left for her post on Eden Prime, Sarah had been an overachieving eighth grader. Now, she had nearly graduated high school.

Almost a woman.

“I know, I know.” Sarah waved her hand off screen, a dismissal of the subject. “Hey sis, did I tell you you were on the Alliance News Network?”

“What?” That was news to her. It was hard to imagine exactly why she’d have been on – Shepard, maybe, Shepard was the first human spectre – but her? She was just a grunt along for the mission. Practically a stow-away. If it hadn’t been for Eden Prime…

“Yeah! They did a report about the Normandy, and mentioned you guys were on for a top secret mission.” Sarah’s eyes were wide, just like they were whenever she’d gotten caught in some kind of mischief. Sarah was good at mischief. “You gonna tell me what you’re out there doing? Maybe convince your commander lady to take on some teenage help?”

“Classified, kiddo.” She laughed for a second, then crossed her arms. “And you’re not coming. Who’s gonna help mom with the dishes if you’re out here with me?”

“Mom can do her own dishes.” Sarah crossed her own arms, mimicking Ashley. “You just don’t want me up there with all the cute boys.”

“Cute boys?” Ashley frowned.

“Don’t play dumb.” She waved a hand. “That black haired guy – Kaidan? The Lieutenant? They showed his profile on the news. He’s cute, Ash. Real cute.”

“He’s alright, I guess.” Sure, Alenko was tall, dark, and handsome, but he was Alliance, and there were rules against that sort of thing. She’d done her best not to notice.

“Alright? Do you have space blindness?” Sarah scoffed. “I know you can’t do anything about it, Ash, but there’s no rule that says you can’t look –“

“Hey chief,” A familiar voice called, and Ashley closed her eyes as Kaidan wandered over to her work station. “I was wondering if you might want to – Oh!”

He scratched the back of his neck and looked away. “Didn’t realize you were busy.”

“Oh, Kaidan, it’s uh, it’s nothing. Just a vid call to my sister.” Sarah’s eyes were as wide as saucers and Ashley prayed that Sarah would just kept her mouth shut.

“Hi!” Sarah said, and Ashley prayed harder, adding several saints to her litany. “My sister and I were just talking about you, Mr. uh…”

“Alenko.” Kaidan gave Sarah a small salute and a grin. “Good things, I hope.”

“Very good things.” Sarah said, and Ashley began praying a familiar internal prayer. _Holy Mary, Mother of God, please don’t let my sister say anything. I will become a nun when I retire if you just make her keep her gob shu_ -

“My sister says she thinks you’re cute!” Sarah giggled and, abruptly, cut transmission.

Ashley stood, frozen in place. After several seconds of internal screaming, she chanced a glance at Kaidan.

Kaidan was looking at her intently, with the faintest of blushes forming. He looked …lost.

Oh, God.

“Sorry.” She said, rapidly spinning damage control. “Sarah’s just a kid and sometimes she gets …excited.”

“Yeah,” Kaidan nodded. “I understand. Kids are like that.”

She breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m going to kill her, next time we get shore leave.”

“Well, I can’t say she didn’t have it coming.” His mouth quirked upwards into a smirk. “I won’t tell anybody.”

“Appreciated.” She nodded. Best to be back to business. “So, what did you come all the way down here for, LT?”

“Oh,” He scratched his head again – was he nervous? “Wondered if you maybe wanted to get a drink while we’ve got a chance. Last stop before Virmire and all.”

“Yeah, sounds good.” She raised an eye brow. “Would have thought you’d have invited Shepard, though.”

Kaidan’s crush on Shepard wasn’t exactly a secret. It was, in fact, completely obvious. Kaidan followed Shepard around like a puppy dog.

She could never figure out why. He knew the regs.

“Yeah, well…” He coughed. “I like adventurous women, but Shepard’s become a little too adventurous for my tastes.”

“She lost you when she ran over that Geth armature with the Mako, huh?”

“A bit.” He looked away. “More when she started arguing with Vakarian about how many headshots it counted as.”

“Yeah, those two…” She shook her head. Shepard and the turian got along like a barn on fire and gasoline. Ashley wasn’t entirely sure that was a good thing. Vakarian seemed like a nice guy and Ash was glad he was on their side, but…. He was as reckless as Saren in his own way, and a bit more trigger happy than any Alliance soldier would be.

Plus, he was _turian_. Different background. Different homeworld. Different amino acids.

“Yeah.” Kaidan looked down. Ashley understood why. It was one thing to lose to another human male, but to lose to a spiky alien was hard.

Especially when said alien didn’t even seem to be aware of the game they were playing.

“Hey.” She touched Kaidan’s arm. “You wanna talk about it?”

“No.” He laughed. “Not without a few drinks in me anyway.”

“I think we can do that.” She grinned as she pulled up a map of bars in the wards. “You buying?”

\- - -

Kaidan was buying, so they went to a bar that he knew – a small hole in the wall type place near the wards entrance to C-SEC. Kaidan reasoned that the wards might be unruly, but that they were unlikely to face trouble in a bar most likely frequented by C-SEC.

Unfortunately, Kaidan had forgotten that they might not be the only members of the ground crew going there.

Which was why, instead of enjoying a nice, quiet drink with Kaidan, she was “enjoying” a large, cheap drink with Kaidan, Garrus, and Shepard.

And about five C-SEC officers Garrus was friends with.

“So that she does this THING.” Garrus made a move with his strange hands that was beyond her recognition. . Judging from the six dextro alcohol bottles sitting in front of Garrus, perhaps it was beyond his ow as well. “And all of a sudden BAM there’s a fucking sentient plant vomiting up asari and spirits knows what else.”

He pointed, shakily, at Ashley. “And, this one, she’s just starts firing until her gun overheats.”

One of the turians on her left snorted. Ashley frowned. Basic certainly never covered what to do when dealing with sentient plant creatures, and unlike Kaidan and Shepard, she wasn’t anything near special ops. Shooting the thorian’s lackeys seemed like a pretty damn sound strategy to Ashley.

(Judging by Shepard’s muttering, Ashley doubted Shepard was trained on sentient, millennia old plant life either, N-7 rank or no.)

“I’m not much better – dark and dank as hell in there – but I snipe a couple.” Of course he would have noticed that. She rolled her eyes, then swallowed down another bitter mouthful of beer.

“But not Shepard.” He turned to Shepard with something warm in his expression, even though “warm” for a turian looked mostly like “you look tasty.”

“Shepard’s the damn reincarnation of General Atala in the battle of Cipritine,” he explained smugly. His explanation went over like a lead balloon. The turians looked at Garrus like he grew another head. Judging from his expression, Kaidan didn’t get the reference and Shepard looked just as lost.

Garrus, oblivious, turned to Shepard and flared out his mandibles, an expression Ashley sure as hell didn’t understand. Maybe Shepard did, because she actually laughed and patted his shoulder.

“'Fraid we humans don’t get that reference, big guy.”

“Atala, with only the first brigade of Cipritine and its reserve troops, held off all seven of the armies of Borusca,” the turian on her right supplied. “She slayed hundreds – thousands – of warriors, due to her clear judgment and fundamentally sound use of strategy.”

Ashley gulped down her beer and tried to drown out the turian war nerd as he droned on and on and on. Kaidan, she could tell, was listening with interest.

She smiled at that; Kaidan always seemed willing to listen to people, and had a profound respect for other cultures. That was something Ashley struggled with, but she admired Kaidan’s effortless mastery of it. Xeno interests were useful out here in the cold and uncaring galaxy.

 _We’d be a good pair,_ she thought, then frowned.

_On the battlefield._

_I meant on the battlefield._

Ashley buried her face in her beer to hide the blush that was rapidly spreading across her cheeks.

“So, what’s it like? Serving on a human ship?” One of the turians sitting near Garrus asked.

He shrugged. “Not much different. Food’s worse. Stricter rules about fraternization.”

The turian on her right gave her a look that, even with his inexpressive face, she was quite certain was a blatant up and down. “That’s a damn pity.”

She expected Vakarian to agree, but he snorted. “If there were turian women on board, _maybe_ , but it’s just the squishy ones.”

Ashley raised an eyebrow. Somehow, she couldn’t quite believe that Garrus found it that easy to adhere to the Alliance rules.

“Don’t knock the squishy until you’ve tried it, Garrus.” The turian on her right nodded vigorously and Ashley held back a smirk. Knew it.

Garrus stared at Ashley as if she’d sprouted mandibles of her own, but Shepard was laughing hysterically, slapping her hands on the table. “You seen those teeth? Think he’d break us, Ash.”

Ashley didn’t miss Garrus’ warm grin in response, or Kaidan’s suddenly somber turn into his glass. His expression – eyes down, mouth closed tight – said he wanted to be anywhere but here.

“Oh, I don’t know, Commander,” Ashley said, a funny feeling burning in her gut. She knew it wasn’t the liquor, but it was so easy to tell herself it it was. “Don’t you remember our conversation, about kissing turians?”

She winked.

The response was an immediate shit storm.

Shepard stopped laughing, her concentration totally focused on shooting eye-daggers at Ashley.

Garrus’ response was an immediate and protracted stammer. His friends hooted, hollered, and encouraged him to find out just what a bit of squishy feels like.

And Kaidan’s was a small, perfect smile – albeit one that turned into a frown a few seconds later.

She put her hand on Kaidan’s own hand. “Wanna get some air?”

He nodded, and she made their excuses.

She left quickly, Kaidan following at her heels.

Neither Shepard nor Garrus watched them leave.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Kaidan said, almost-but-not-quite-angry as they walked out the door. “Embarrassing the commander and him like that.”

“I’m sorry.” She said, though she wasn’t. Garrus and Shepard needed to have their weird thing-that-was-not-quite-a-thing pointed out sometime. “Next round is on me, OK?”

“Ha, yeah.” He nodded. “Okay. At least I won’t have to share my bar-stool with another turian.”

“Yeah.” She smiled, and stopped just short of telling him to share with her next time instead.

\- - -

Two hours and a bar far away from C-SEC later, Kaidan finally did open up about Shepard.

“It was a stupid idea, anyway. It’s just, I thought…I thought we had a real connection, Shepard and I. Regs or no regs.”

“Well, you know, LT, after this…” She shrugged. “You’ll probably get your own command, and if you’re on different ships…” The alliance regulations only could stretch so far.

“Nah.” He shook his head. “Like I said…I get the sense that Shepard’s going places I can’t go. It’s not just things like the constant one-up contests with Vakarian. It’s the drive toward Saren, it’s in the way she manages to bring all these different groups together. She’s driven, and she’s meant for something more than just sitting on the docks, drinking a beer and watching fish utterly fail to take the bait. But I’m….”

“Hey.” She frowned. “Don’t sell yourself short, Kaidan. You’re ever bit as talented a soldier as Shepard is.”

“No, that’s not…Not what I’m saying. What I’m saying is, I don’t think she’s the type to…slow down. And, well, I am.”

“Nothing wrong with that. Seems like time is running far too fast these days.” It feels like days since Eden Prime. Certainly not the weeks and months that it has become.

“Yeah.” He smiled, his eyes crinkling. “Think we’ve earned our shore leave for this one.”

“You said it, LT.” She clinked her glass against his and took a sip of the fancy asari liquor Kaidan had ordered for her. She winced. It was syrupy sweet and not at all the kind of liquor she normally drank.

“Do you ever wonder, what happens after this?”

“With Saren?” She scoffed. “Only in regards as to when and how I’m gonna put one between his eyes. Lot of good people on Eden Prime he has to answer for.”

An entire squad that she would never seen again, for one.

She sipped another sip of the cloying stuff, in tribute to Sargent Donkey, who’d always liked the girly drinks and was never ashamed to drink them. Nobody gave him shit about it, either – not built the way he was.

“Well, yeah, but actually, I mean – what happens, you know, after the whole mission. We take out Saren, hopefully – then what? What happens to Tali, to Garrus, to Wrex, to Liara? Where do they go?”

“Back home, I suppose.” Ashley shrugged. “Wrex’s is a merc, and Tali’s on her pilgrimage. By nature, they’re not sticking around.”

“Shame.” He chuckled. “I’ll miss Tali when she’s gone. She’s a good egg, you know? Really smart.”

An odd spike of tightness sliced through her chest and Ashley took a deep breath to force it away. That was weird. Why would she feel jealous? She certainly wasn’t jealous of Tali. Tali practically had to live in a _bubble_.

“Vakarian’ll go back to C-SEC, I think.” Kaidan said. “He’s talked about it a couple times when we’re ground team. His dad’s some big higher up there and turians, well, the apple rarely seems to fall far from the tree.”

“Nah,” she waved her drink in the air as she reached for another sip. “I don’t think so. He mutters every time he gets a letter from home and immediately goes and beats the hell out of the Mako. I think he’ll become a spectre, like Shepard. Heard him and Shepard talking about it.”

“Hmm.” Kaidan finished his beer and ordered another. “I dunno, might be worth having him stay on if he goes the spectre route. The Council sure seems more likely to listen to turians than humans.”

She nodded. That was no secret. Humans were the new kids on the block, and aliens weren’t going to listen to them if their own people didn’t agree. Having Vakarian around would definitively open more doors.

Besides, there was always the entertainment value of watching him and Shepard have their weird dance. She wasn’t into aliens – hell she was fairly sure _Shepard_ wasn’t into aliens. Yet, somehow, those two had moved into a new and weird side of their friendship lately.

They’d been inseparable since the day Garrus had joined their crew, but they’d practically been making eyes at one another at the bar. Garrus’ eyes had burned with a warmth she was unfamiliar with, and Shepard’s eyes were soft and fond whenever they looked at him. The not quite-flirting, the odd physical touches…The commander’s personal life wasn’t her business, but it was _weird_.

Hell, the last time they’d all gone out together, she’d watched Shepard dance with him. With everyone else, she’d kept her distance and done that …well, that Shepard thing that she did with her arms.

With Vakarian, he’d spun her around and held her by the waist in a way that was nothing if not _intimate_ , no matter how much they were laughing.

It was really, really _weird_.

“Besides, if he’ll stays on, we’ll get to enjoy the great spectator sport that is watching him and Shepard awkwardly not-flirt with one another.”

Thanks in part to the asari liquor, the words slipped out of her mouth before she could stop and think about them.

Kaidan froze, drink half-way to his mouth.

_Shit._

“Kaidan, I’m sorry, I -” She never got to finish her apology, because Kaidan made an undignified snorting noise.

Then he laughed. Hard. Banged his fist against the bar, which earned him a reproachful look from the Salarian bartender. Not that Kaidan saw it, because he was wiping tears of his eyes.

“Yeah.” He said with a nod. “You’re right. Oh god, think about those two together.”

“Least it’ll be easy to tell whose side to sit with during the wedding.”

Kaidan laughed again, this time with a mouth half full of beer. He wound up doing a spit take, which earned him a sharp “Sir!” from the Salarian barkeeper. Kaidan shook his head and murmured an apology, and god dammit, the pink tinge to his cheeks was actually charming.

She was absolutely going to kill Sarah for putting this idea into her head.

“Can you imagine the kids?” He choked out.

“Oh yeah.” She snickered. “Shepard totting around a little baby turian, complete with a full set of teeth, cooing about how precious her baby is as he snaps at anyone who so much as looks at his mom?”

“We’ll have to lie to her, you know.” He chuckled. “I don’t think I’d want to piss of a momma bear Shepard.”

“Yeah,” she smiled. “Me neither.”

She tilted her head back and downed the rest of the asari liquor. It burned while still tasting sweet.

“You want another, Ash?”

“Nah.” She shook her head. “I’ll take a levo soda, though.”

“You heard the lady.” Kaidan handed a credit chit to the bartender, and a second later, a bottle was in her hand.

“What about you, Ash?” Kaidan looked at her as she took a sip of her drink. “You sticking around?”

“I’d like to, but…” She sighed. “I’ll probably get assigned somewhere in the sticks. You know, Williams curse and all.”

“Yeah, I heard about your grandfather.” Kaidan winced. “I’m sorry. It’s a hell of a legacy.”

“Yeah.” She cleared her throat. “He never forgave himself for it.”

She remembered her grandfather, barely. Remembered clinking glass and _Dad, stop, you’re scaring the girls_. Remembered bitter laughter and _Thank God they’re girls, at least then the name might die with them_. Remembered soft funeral taps, an empty graveyard and a soft, whispered _Perhaps he can rest now._

“Damn shame.” Kaidan’s brown eyes were kind and filled with pity. “I would have made the same call.”

It was meant to be comforting, but Williams women never did deal with pity well.

She swallowed the rest of her sweet, bubbly drink, and forced the snippy comment down with it.

“So what about you, Kaidan?” She said. “Where are you headed?”

“Wherever the Alliance sends me.” He tapped his hand against his chest. “I’m a lifer.”

“Me too,” she said. He smiled, and that image sent a bolt of warmth travelling through her veins, and oh, oh this was so stupid. He was a lifer – her crush was never going to go anywhere. He wasn’t even into her. They’d never have even met if it wasn’t for Saren and his geth.

_Stupid Sarah._

Kaidan finished his drink and slid off his stool, holding out a hand to her. “So, what are you going to do, when you finally get your shore leave?”

“See my family, probably.” She said. “Sarah’s a bit of an imp, but…she’s my imp.”

_And then I can throttle her for all this sexual tension._

“Yeah, I get that.” He smiled, oblivious. “Think I’ll go home, too. Been a long time since I’ve been back in Vancouver.”

“Oh.” She whistled. “Didn’t realize you were a homeworld kid.”

It really was surprising. She’d had her colony kid background thrown in her face more than once by homeworlders. She’d simply learned to deal with the teasing that came from being from the sticks.

But Kaidan never said a word about it.

“Yeah.” His hands slipped into hers as they ambled back towards the shipyard. It’s presence stoked a fire, and soon there was a dangerous heat in her belly.

She was absolutely going to murder Sarah.

“Where you from, Ash?” He asked, oblivious to her distress.

“Sirona.” She looked to the sky. On Sirona, it was always a dusty purple-blue. “After what happened, gramps couldn’t get the hell off of Earth fast enough.”

He nodded. “Can’t blame him.” The Citadel’s “sky” was always a sky-blue color, something that reminded lots of species of home – but not her.

“Heard Sirona’s tough.” His voice was filled with respect, a novel sensation for a colony kid.

“Yeah.” It was odd to think that, if not for her name, she might have found those skies every bit as comforting as Kaidan did.

Kaidan’s thumb glided over her own, and god dammit, her heart actually skipped a beat.

Maybe, Ashley thought, she should have ignored these feelings, but she didn’t feel quite like having the night end just yet.

After all, Shepard wouldn’t be looking for them until 08:00.

“Hey Kaidan?”

“Yeah?”

“There’s a good burger place down on Tayseri, I’ve heard.” She squeezed his hand. “Wanna grab a bite?”

“If it’s open?” He grinned. “Yeah. Yeah, I really would.”

“It’s the Citadel.” She scoffed. “Nothing closes here.”

That aspect of Citadel culture – something nearly everyone else seemed to take to easily – was nothing like home, but here and now, well, Ashley couldn’t say she minded.

\- - -

It wasn’t until their exceptionally late dinner that she noticed his hands. They were big, but soft; callused, but nimble, with long fingers that hinted at an aristocratic background she could never share.

If it weren’t for the fact that he was a biotic – an early one, judging from the implant scars – would he be have been there at all?

He waved one hand in the air as he talked about his home.

“The lake there is beautiful, Ash. The most beautiful blue water, ice cold. Nothing like jumping in that first day of summer in June, feeling your heart just stop for a second and start again. It’s the most refreshing thing. It’s just…home, you know?”

She smiled, even though she didn’t understand. Sirona was hot, always hot. Oppressively hot. The lakes – brown, not blue – were full of danger. They were home to native flora and fauna that was every bit as fierce as the nighttime predators her mother whispered stories about. To jump in one was suicide.

“And I miss that, sometimes, on a ship. There’s just not a lot of home out here, you know?” Ashley didn’t, but she had always wanted to try swimming – she’d never been, not even on Eden Prime. Never had time.

But missing home? That she could understand. Maybe not the flora and the fauna, but the people…

“Yeah.” She said. “My sisters…I feel like they’re growing up without me. I mean, when I left, three of them were still in school. Now it’s just Sarah and…” She looked down. “My mom.”

It was mama that worried about – what would she do once Sarah was gone? Mama had spent her entire life carrying for everyone else – first her father, then Ash and her sisters. But when all her girls were gone, who would mama care for?

“You’re real close to your family, huh?” Kaidan’s eyes were soft and kind. Nice. And they were the warm brown kind, ones that that she could eagerly lost in.

“Yeah.” She nodded and smiled, but Kaidan frowned.

“Why did you pick a career that you have to be away from home so much, then?”

“Tradition.” She said, with a watery smile. _Williams don’t back down._ “My father was Alliance, and my grandfather. Someone’s gotta prove them wrong about us.” She takes a sip of water. “And I’m gonna make damn sure it’s me.”

“You’re brave, Ash.” He grinned, flashing bright white teeth.

“I mean, I knew you were brave, but…Damn.”

His hand found hers and she drew in a deep breath. “Hey, uh, LT…” She wasn’t sure what kind of game he’s playing, but she needed the rules spelled out here before she committed to making any sort of move. Kaidan was a lifer.

This was stupid. Doomed to fail.

But despite knowing that she didn’t pull her hand away.

_Williams don’t retreat._

He squeezed her hand. “Tell me about your family, Ash.”

So she did. She squeezed his hand and told him about Abbie, so headstrong yet so sweet. She talked about Lynn, who was distant and clever but only cold until you melted her ice queen facade. She talked about Sarah, mischievous and devious but so creative and loving at the same time.

He listened. Not like Shepard did, where every answer got another question—but in his own, quiet way, she knew he was absorbing everything that she said.

And when she caressed his fingers as she talked about her father, she was very satisfied as his breath caught.

_Williams never say die._

\- - -

She listened as Kaidan told her about his family – mom, dad, a couple dogs – but mostly she watched his lips. His really, really cute lips. They were not overly plushy, but they were plenty soft, with the perfect cupid’s bow.

“It’s a pity shore leave is so rare, you know.” He said. “I haven’t been home in so long.”

“Maybe it’s a good thing, though. If I had a nice place like your family, I might just be tempted to stay.”

He gave her a soft, closed lip smile and Ashley sucked in a breath, consumed with the thought that he’d probably be a really good kisser.

“Hey, Ash…” His hand caressed her cheek. “I gotta say. I’m glad you came with us, off of Eden Prime.”

She laughed. “Glad you’re not getting alcohol poisoning with Vakarian and Shepard tonight?”

“No. Well yes, but uh…” He scratched his neck. “It’s just…Look. I’d never wish what happened on Eden Prime on anyone, but…I’m glad we met. You’re really a remarkable person.”

And then he leaded forward, and for just a second she thought she should pull back, but before she could get any farther… He did, regs be damned.

And god damn Sarah, it was _good_. Good enough that maybe, she thought, she’d even tell Sarah about it, when she got a bit older.

They pulled apart; Ash smiled. “Hey, not bad, LT.”

“I aim to please.”

Before she quite realized it was going to happen, they were kissing again, and this time his tongue slid against her mouth.

By the time they stopped, they were both panting, but Kaidan still leaned forward to continue.

Ashley held up her hand. “Hey, LT, that was nice, but uh…Regs are regs, you know?”

“Ash,” Kaidan grabbed her hand, and it was hard to ignore the spark that lit deep in her chest. “Look, I – I’m not one to disrespect the rules. But there’s a good chance we might die tomorrow. And besides,” he said, eyes sparkling.

“Technically, we’re not even in the same regiment yet. Don’t think Shepard’s ever sent Anderson’s paperwork through.”

She took a deep breath; exhaled. What would her family think of her, breaking personnel restrictions like this? Her father never would – neither would her grandfather. But what had following the Alliance rules so slavishly gotten them? A sense of honor and an early grave.

And there was a chance she might be joining them tomorrow.

And she didn’t intend to come up to heaven to see papa and grandpa with any regrets.

“If we’re going to do this,” she said, letting one arm touch his, feather light. “We’re going to need some privacy.”

That wasn’t something that was exactly easy to find on the Normandy.

She was pretty sure a reason for the “No sex with crew mates” rule was to keep people from breaking their necks trying in the sleeper pods.

“Okay.” Kaidan nodded and stood, pulling his omni-tool up as she paid their check. “Give me a sec with my omni, and we’ll find a place.”

“Okay.” She said. She didn’t dare say more, for fear that she would let herself be talked out of it.

Neither of them spoke much on their way out of the bar.

Ashley felt dizzy and she wasn’t sure if it was the alcohol, the rule-breaking, or the fact that it was Kaidan who was holding tight to her back.

His big hands were warm and soft.

 _Shepard_ , she thought, _you have no idea what you’re missing._

She was pretty sure turian hands wouldn’t feel this soft, this supple.

She put a hand on his waist and he leaned into her shoulder. It felt nice; she wants to lean more into him but couldn’t. They were already a bit too close for any proper pair of alliance soldiers.

So instead, she simply walked with Kaidan. They let their hands do the talking. Kaidan, unable to reach to hold her, spent his time tracing soft, light touches on her hand. And each time, she gave back as good as she got.

When he grazed her wrist with his pinkie, she traced his with the lightest of touches from her index finger. When he squeezed her hand softly, for just a couple seconds – once, twice, release – she did the same, but let her palm brush up against his for a second longer.

They passed through the wards, and into the corridor that would lead them back to the Presidium.

Even though it was 00:45 Presidium time, the lights on the Presidium were almost as bright as ever.

Nothing ever closed on the Citadel. _Nothing_. She wondered if she and Kaidan were opening a door here, and if it was one that they’d be able to shut when the evening ended.

 _Williams give it their all,_ she thought, and brushed her finger-tips against his hips. They would just have to try.

They walked through the Presidium. She was surprised they’d been up there so long. Ashley assumed it was only a short cut, and that they would cross back into a seamy section of the wards any second.

Kaidan stopped, suddenly, and grinned at her. She glanced up—they were standing outside a golden hotel. One that, judging from the looks of it, was one of the biggest and brightest in the Citadel’s highest and ritziest section of town.

“C'mon,” he said, and jerked his head toward the door.

She laughed. “You can’t be serious.”

“Of course I am.” He grinned. “If we only get one chance at shore leave on this mission, we have to go big or go home.”

“Go big or go home, huh?” She laughed. “You sure you can keep up with a colony girl?”

“I’d like to find out.” There was a warmth in his eyes that was sweet and light. “C'mon, I’m buying.”

\- - -

The hotel room was, frankly, bigger than the entire CIC on the Normandy.

“Wow.” She chuckled. “I think this is bigger than my parent’s entire house.”

“Yeah.” He scratched the back of his neck. “Definitively a bit bigger than the sleep pods on Normandy, that’s for sure.”

“We could just…” She flopped down on the bed and giggled for a moment, as Kaidan took off his coat, carefully hanging it in the closet. “We could both spread all the way out on this bed and not even touch each other.”

He chuckled and then, to her amazement, actually followed her, flopping down on the other side of the bed and spreading his hands wide.

Their fingers just barely touched.

“That all you want to do tonight?” He asked, one eyebrow raised.

She hesitated for a second, and his thick eyebrow dropped. “It’s ok, if…That’s all it is. This is a kinda crazy idea. Wouldn’t blame you for backing out.”

_Williams will never retreat again._

She straddled him in reply, her arms pinning his shoulders almost effortlessly. “Shut up.”

“Yes, ma'am.” He murmured. She smiled and bent down to kiss him.

His lips tasted uniquely Kaidan. She could taste the bitter tang of alcohol, and underlying it, the saltiness of his skin.

God damn Sarah and her _stupid_ ideas.

She never thought a mistake could feel so good.

Her hands moved to let down her military grade bun.

Kaidan laughed, his hands on her hips as her hair cascaded down her back. How long had it been since she’d last had it untied? “You sure about this, LT?”

“Yeah.” His hands moved to her hair, fascinated; one of his fingers grazed her shoulder, and she felt an odd, tingling feeling.

“You…” She frowned. “Your hands…Are you ok?”

He withdrew from his exploration of her hair and pulls back. “Oh. Biotic pulses. Happens sometimes when I’m…excited.”

“Excited, huh?” She smirked. “They hurt you?”

“No.” His hand reached to cup her chin, hesitated. “Too weird for you, Ash?”

“Nope.” She smiled and reached out, pulling his hand to her cheek. “Just kinda…tingly.”

“Tingly, huh?” His eyes crinkled into a soft smile. “I think I can deal with that.”

“I think I’d like to deal with that.” She raised her eyebrows, and Kaidan burst out laughing.

“You know, I’m pretty sure I’m the one whose supposed to be in charge here. Higher rank and everything.” He smirked as he pushed up her top, slowly revealing her torso.

“You may have the higher rank, but it looks like I’m the one on top.” She upped the ante, playing with his chest through the fabric. She could feel the taunt, warm muscle that his shirt hid.

_God dam_ _n,_ _Sarah._

This, she thought, was going to be the best mistake of her life.

And even this wasn’t going anywhere, she couldn’t quite regret it. She was pretty sure this was the only time they’d ever get the chance to do something like this.

Kaidan, taking advantage of her thoughts, effortlessly flipped her over onto her back. “You were saying, Chief Williams?”

Her sarcastic reply abruptly disintegrated into a gasp as the cool, tingling sensation from his biotics flowed over her breasts. Even through the fabric, she could feel the tiny pulses of biotic energy sparking off of his fingertips. She’d thought it might make her feel a little numb but, instead, it was just the opposite – all her nerve endings felt like they were on fire.

If this was what breaking regs felt like, Ashley decided to encourage Shepard to kiss a _lot_ more turians.

Kaidan groaned into her mouth as his hands reach behind her to try to pull off her bra.

“Hey,” she whispered, as he closed his hand over one of the clasps and moved to kiss her neck. “No fair. You’ve got way more clothes on than I do.”

“Ha, sorry.” He chuckled. “Guess I’ll have to make it better.”

Kaidan retreated, pulling off his sweater and tossing it to the ground. Ash took a moment to admire his form. He had just the right amount of muscle. Kaidan was nice: his muscles corded, athletic. Far from the usual alliance-trained muscle-head. Kaidan was a soldier who’s trained to fight, not just to look good. But he definitively looked good.

A quick glance lower showed the bulge of his cock in his jeans. Ashley bit her lip in anticipation, suddenly shy. It had been a long time.

Kaidan, frustratingly, didn’t make any moves to help satisfy her curiosity. Instead, his arm slowly traced a soft pattern up her arm, the biotic pulses making her hair stand on end.

He slid down one bra-strap and raised an eyebrow.

“Fine.” She laughed. “Fair’s fair, LT.” She reached behind her. Once her bra was unhooked, she pulled it off and threw it…somewhere. They’d find it later. Kaidan laughed for a second, then stopped as his eyes dipped and he got his first good look at her chest.

If there was one thing the Williams growth spurt is good for, it was her chest. For years, she had been uncomfortable with her chest. She was bigger than the average soldier – which, in turn, had made it a pain to requisition properly fitting breastplates

However, with the reverent look that Kaidan gave her, Ashley Williams decided there were some advantages to being outside the supply range.

“Wow.” He coughed.

“Thanks…I think.” She smirked. “You’re welcome to do more than stare.”

“Sorry.” He chuckled for a second. “Feel like a kid in high school again.

“Just don’t write my number on the Normandy’s bathroom wall, OK? I don’t want Wrex getting ideas.”

Kaidan laughed as his fingers traced a slow path to her collarbone. Then, they dipped lower, darting around her nipples. Each movement set off tiny sparks as his biotics made contact with her skin. For one second she wondered if it was going to be too much to have him actually touch her more sensitive areas with his bare fingers.

When his finger finally glided over her nipple, she groaned. His biotic pulse was too strong, too powerful, and made her ache between her legs nearly unbearable.

He stroked one nipple with his finger as his head replaced his hand on the other, and the ache between her legs became painful. The cool touch of his biotics combined with the warm heat of his mouth sent her writhing up off the bed.

Oh, _fuck_ , Sarah. She was _never_ going to be old enough to hear this story.

If this wasn’t already breaking the regs, she’d be worried about how he would interpret the way she moaned. It may have been a while, but it wasn’t like she was desperate.

_Williams never begged._

But, on the other hand, it was Kaidan – her fellow soldier, her _friend_. She closed her eyes, concentrating on the feeling of his lips and mouth.

“Kaidan, I…”

She couldn’t complete the sentence because his next trick – a biotic pulse, directly between her legs – sent her fingers clawing after him.

Kaidan chuckled. He absolutely did do that on purpose, she thought, and then his fingers moved to her buckle, undoing her jeans.

She tried to undo his, but it quickly became too hard to concentrate, with Kaidan sending small biotic waves of energy dancing over her skin.

“First biotic?”

“Yeah.” She bit her lip. “This common?”

He smirked as he pushed her pants down. “Only in L2’s. Gotta give us some good side-effects, to make up for the crippling migraines.”

“I’ll say.” Normally at this point, she would feel uncomfortable, but Kaidan’s gentle hands and light biotic touches were making it hard to focus on anything but making this last.

He chuckled in response before leaning back a bit, hastily undoing his own pants. The aftershocks of his touch kept her occupied as his fingers fumbled for the zipper.

She helped push them down his hips. He grinned, but there was a touch of shyness behind his smile.

Judging by what she was looking at, he didn’t have anything to be so shy about.

“You still sure you want this?” He asked, and she bit her lip.

She feels a twinge of empathy for Kaidan. It was obvious that things with Shepard had hurt him, but…

Ashley certainly couldn’t complain that things had ended up like this.

“Yeah.” She leaned up and pulled him down, her hands spread across his hips. “Yeah, I’m sure.”

“Ah, good.” He said, and then he kissed her. It was soft, tender, warm – everything about it so very Kaidan. He pulled a condom off the nightstand.

She wrapped her legs around his hips and breathed deeply as Kaidan finished preparing himself.

Kaidan smelled like leather and eezo, an odd – but not unpleasant- combination. There’s a warmth to Kaidan, she thought, and it wasn’t just in his heart.

“You’re so strong, Ash,” he murmured, voice low, and then, in one swift, decisive move, he was inside her. “So strong.”

She gasped, although it wasn’t because of the way he pressed into her, though that, too, was a pleasant burn that left her aching for breathe.

It was in his words. Not just the words themselves, but in the way he said them. Like everything Kaidan said, he meant it.

A tightness burned in her chest, swallowing all her words.

Kaidan was, unsurprisingly, gentle. He was still for a moment; Ash knew he was giving her time to adjust to him.

Well….Nothing wrong with having a bit of fun there, was there?

Slowly, she teased his jaw with one of her fingers, and was rewarded with a biotic pulse that fizzled across her hand.

“You okay to get going?” He asked, the strain evident in his voice.

“Been ready.” She raised an eyebrow. “We colony girls, we’re built pretty damn sturdy, you know.”

“Hmph.” He laughed. “I guess I don’t have to hold back then.”

“Nope.”

He moved then, taking her with a slow and gentle thrust. His fingers glided down her skin. Bursts of his biotic energy followed, the cool, tingling sensations guiding down her back.

“Oh.” She hissed, oversensitive. “Kaidan…”

He picked up the pace, chuckling, and Ashley swallowed a small curse. She didn’t have the ability to say anything. She was powerless to say anything but pant against the warm touch of his hands and the soft pulses of biotic energy that followed.

But even without words, there were other ways to communicate. She shifted her hips, helping to set a demanding pace.

Kaidan chuckled and lifted her hips. Two could play at that game, she supposed. This position had him feeling very nice inside of her, and the sparks on her ass just intensified every thrust, every motion. It was intense.

Too damn intense.

She hit her first orgasm without even trying, too far gone to try to hold it back. She felt her mouth twist into an o as she groaned. Kaidan grinned in response, but didn’t stop; his only concession was to slow down for a few seconds, let her catch her breath.

_Williams never said die._

“You out of steam already, Alenko?”

He snorted.

She shuddered underneath him as he picked up the pace again. She clawed at his ass, pulling him close; if she was going over that cliff again, he was going with her.

He moaned into her shoulder. “Don’t do that, Ash.”

“Hey.” She raised an eyebrow. “All’s fair in love and war, right?”

He laughed before running a hand down the curve of her ass, his hand still bursting off shocks.

And that was all it took.

She buried her head into his neck as she crashed over the edge. _Dammit_.

When she recovered, she squeezed down on him on every thrust. Kaidan lasted a couple more thrusts, then he went still.

For a moment, they stayed together. Kaidan didn’t pull out right away, instead just leaning down to kiss her cheek.

Sweet. Maybe she’d tell Sarah this part. _Just_ this part.

She held Kaidan tight as he curled up around her, both sated in the company of each other.

“How long did you say we have the room for, LT?”

“About another six hours.” He chuckled. “Then it’s on to Virmire.”

“Mmm.” She rolled them both over, pinning Kaidan to the mattress. “What do you say to the idea of me rocking your world again, and then us taking a nap on the most amazing feather-bed I’ve ever seen?“

Kaidan laughed and reached for the packet of condoms on the nightstand. “I don’t know, Ash.” He said, but the cock hardening at her thigh spoke clearly for him. “I might miss more than just the bed, when all this is over.”

“Nah.” She swallowed, her chest burning tight again. “We can always fuck, but we’re probably never going to be able to afford this place again.”

“Hey now.” Kaidan sheathed his cock in a new rubber and then up into her in one quick motion. “If things go right after this mission, we might be big heroes, Ash. We’ll probably get the room for free.”

She pushed him back down on the bed. “You wish, LT. You wish.”

\- - -

Several hours later, Ashley laughed as she and Kaidan crossed into the decontamination room.

She’d had the best sleep of her life – feather beds were way better than anything on the Normandy – but there was something else making her feel refreshed, too.

Kaidan didn’t say anything. They were both content just to squeeze her fingers and grin as they wait for the decontamination chamber to finish killing whatever bacteria it found.

“Seems like it’s taking a while.” Kaidan hummed.

“I won’t argue with that.” She folded her arms and smiled. “The view’s nice.”

“Hey, Ash…” He squeezed her hand again. “After all this, we’ll have a hell of a shore leave coming, right?”

“Yeah.” She sensed there was another question lying there, one that made her stomach tighten in anticipation.

“I was thinking…” He scratched his neck. “Well, I was thinking of going back home to Vancouver and watching the boats, but…There’s this colony I’ve heard about. Sirona? Thought I could go, see the sights….And maybe you’d like to come along?”

“Yeah, LT.” She said with a grin. “I’d like that.”

Sarah would never stop teasing her about that, but she doesn’t care.

When the doors finally open, Shepard greeted them, arms folded.

“Bought time.” Shepard said, one eyebrow raised. “A hell of a long breath of fresh air, LT.”

“Sorry, ma'am.” He ran his hands through his hair. “I - “

“We got lost on the Citadel, ma'am.” Ashley said, straight faced. She’d covered for Sarah enough to lie well. “Took us a while to get back to a recognizable part of town and by then it was in the night cycle. Figured we’d stay over.”

“Yeah.” Kaidan covered quickly – but badly, hiding his head from Shepard in a way that screamed that he had something to hide.

She closed her eyes. Perhaps she’d be seeing Sarah sooner than she thought. Perhaps she’d owe the LT a hell of a lot more beer, because if Shepard launched any investigation into what they were doing, well…

She supposed a dishonorable discharge was, technically, a promotion, compared to death and forced retirement.

But to her surprise, Shepard merely looked at them for a second before smiling and laughing. “Well, glad you made it back in before we took off.”

Her eyes glittered with a warmth that she rarely saw in Shepard. “Hate to leave you behind…We’ll need your skills out there today. Both of you.”

“Yes, ma'am.”

“Yes ma'am.”

Shepard turned to give Joker some instructions and Ashley breathed a sigh of relief. After one last, glamorous smile from Kaidan ), she at last returned to her work station. It was a pity Kaidan’s station was on the second floor.

Next time, she’ll have to take a picture, so she could hang it up,or to show show Sarah – or maybe she’d just introduce him to Sarah, when they go to Sirano.

Despite how everything changed since yesterday, nothing on her workstation had changed at all.

Except for the turian behind her, who kept glancing up at her, every few seconds.

Garrus never left the Mako, but he kept looking at her, with an expression that was as unreadable, but suggested distress.

After fifteen minutes of his watching-but-not-saying-anything, she started to get paranoid. Perhaps she hadn’t gotten dressed as carefully as she had imagined. Perhaps, she had Kaidan’s sock hanging out of her pocket or something, and oh god, one word from Garrus and Shepard…Shepard…

She whipped around to him, lightning fast. “What, Garrus?”

“Uh…I…uh…”

He looked away. “Never-mind.”

“Garrus, You’ve been staring at me for fifteen minutes. What is it?”

_Oh god, what if it wasn’t a sock?_

“It’s….nothing. Just…Just…forget it.”

He wasn’t usually so bumbling. “Come on, Garrus. What’s going on?”

“Well uh…” He coughed. “I just…I was wondering… Uh… Why you and Shepard were talking about kissing turians?”

She laughed. “I think that’s something you need to ask Shepard, big guy.”

“Oh…I … oh.” He looked away again.

“But… She did seem open to the idea. For what it’s worth.”

Garrus stared at her like she was on fire. “Oh. _Spirits_. I…I have to go.”

She just laughed quietly as Garrus went back to his work station, running a three-fingered hand through his fringe.

Garrus and Shepard, she thought, would find their own way.

She had a ticket to Sirona, a feather-bed to share, sisters to argue with, and a friendly biotic to show around town. Sounded damn good.

Things were coming to a head, she thought, as she adjusted her rifle. Garrus and Shepard – her and Kaidan – Virmire was something. They were heading toward something – something big.

Hopefully that something was taking down Saren.

She felt the Normandy start to take off and she took a deep breath. _Focus_. Mission first.

After all, there would be plenty of time to think about the future – and Kaidan – after Virmire.


End file.
